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Romance is in the air...
Valentines day... always special for
seasoneers. But not quite in the one-on-one intimate dinner for
two in a quiet little restaurant tucked away in a back street. We
choose to go on mass to see some of our number search for true lust
on stage at Pizza Express...
Cilla and cilla
Expertly and professionally compared (well, until the second pint
of vodka and orange arrived anyway) by Cilla and Cilla the night
got underway with some excellent talent on stage for the first contestant
to choose from.
  
Inspired contestants
Not in anyway affected by alcohol, the contestants were witty and
genuine, coming up with such gems of questions as:
"I'm a nanny and have to look after crying
screaming children all day. What would you put in my mouth to stop
me crying?"
"Being in a ski resort I'm always cold
- what would you do to warm me up?"
"Over which piece of chalet furniture
would you bend over for me and why?"
"The other day I lost my favourite teddy.
What have you lost important to you, what age and where?"
  
Not forgetting Pete's legendary "I've
must lost my job with Ski - - --. How would you help me ski into
you, and how would you accomodate me for a fortnight?"
Duck abuse
Several guest appearences were made in the competition, not least
by Orville the duck, who suffered severe head injuries following
a serious pummelling by both Cillas simultaniously, pounding away
shouting "I hate that duck". To make up they poured several
shots down his beak, but sadly he was not chosen by the lady, who
seemed to somehow sense that something was amis with number two...
  
And all for charity...
Unaided by the crowd, the contestents were left to make their own
decisions, winning such great prizes as a meal for two in Pizza
Express. The show ended with a singluar version of a Cilla classic,
Ferry Accross the Mersey with alternate lyrics added by Cilla and
Cilla. Several jugs of Cilla's and Graham's Juice were auctioned
off throught the evening, which could account for some of the goings
on later in Dick's Tea Bar...
  
Gallie
Maybe that last pint of vodka orange just tipped the balance...
last seen wandering off in his boxers clutching a box of pizza...
  
  
  
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Report from Phin
- Natives Special Correspondent
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