Is it 2002? Do I have to serve breakfast? What's my name again?

Bonjour and welcome to the Courchevel 'Bubble'. Hoping you all had a fantastic and memorable new years eve; oh did it go off out here! Brilliant atmosphere in the bars and a huge firework display and dance party on the piste.

There were cocktails, there were sparklers, there were girls (myself included) running around in totally inappropriate clothing. We danced, we drank, we embraced the start of 2002 with copious amounts of alcohol and the inevitable lip locking (its New Year's, you're allowed to do what you like!) and we watched the sun rise over the mountains the next morning. Perfect. Hangovers were in double force and we nursed them the only way possible: propping up the bar in Gringo's and getting buckled all over again. This in itself was no mean feat, the dreaded Euros came into circulation and there was many a seasonaire staring in bewilderment at a pile of 'bloody monopoly money' in their hand. Snowboards and skis stayed firmly in the locker for a couple of days, but then along came some much needed snow and everyone headed to the mountains for some fresh powder (gone again the same day).

Skiers V's Boarders

Last year the boarders ruled the slopes, this year we have a happy mix of Skiers, bladers and boarders. Of course, there is still the in-house bitching between 'pricks on sticks' and 'gays on trays' (apologies for the un-pc term). Racing competitions and subsequent wagers have been placed. First heats are between fellow hosts French-Canadian boarder Guy, skier professional Joe, blader 'pimp daddy' Paddy and our dancing queen plongeur, Fast Eddie. First we wait for a big dump of snow to keep everyone in one piece and then it will be handbags at dawn to see who will reign victorious.

The Courchevel 2002 Season Awards

It seems we will be running our own 'Oscars' this year due to repetitive actions or situations. Categories so far as invented by our chef extraordinaire Aidan (watch out Marco Pierre White), is the 'Eddie Percy-Hughes' award for most items smashed in a single motion. Eddie kicked off this category with an impressive juggle of 20 dinner plates. He is rivalled by a hot contender, hostess Becky (snow fairy), who the other morning in her sambuca induced fragile state, looked on with resignation as 10 wine glasses slipped from her shaking hands. Other categories so far include 'most attempts to scrabble up the bank outside Kalico', and 'Who will actually ski/board every day this season'.

January - The cruellest month

Festivities are over, we are all very light in pocket and the blues did appear to set in for a while. My lovely roommate and drinking partner, Shayley (small), had a big word with ourselves and decided to make a concentrated effort to a) spend more time on the mountain, and b) venture further than next door's bar on nights out. With these resolutions in place we had a fantastic evening in Le Kalico before heading home for an early breakfast of Coco pops laced with Southern Comfort (a very interesting dish). Its now been four days and nights on the go, kidneys are aching and there are a few cases of 'boarders bum' but we all feel a lot happier, especially after a very messy staff bonding session on our day off.

Wanted - A gang of very aggressive bears

Handyman Joe has pointed out that there appear to be a gang of ferocious bears on the loose in Courchevel. They strike on our 'big drink' nights; they get us drunk, take all our money and beat us up. Coincidently, these vigilantes appear to have become more aggressive since our ' we will get more on it' pact. Strange indeed.

Everyone who has e-mailed me

Ooooh, I feel so popular! Thanks for your messages, promises to reply. Good to know that this is being read, I thought it was just accessed by my friends back home who all want to know why they are not mentioned! To keep them happy hello's and hugs to Lucy Lu, Janey, Steve & Rob, Chris, Giles, Liz, Nicky, the two pumpkins and the lovely starfish - get your butts out here, amongst other things I need how much weight I have already accumulated around my waist, I'm getting too scared to look in the mirror anymore.

Coming soon….

Pimps, prostitutes and porn stars night on Tuesday; followed by the Courchevel Valley Rally on Wednesday. There is talk of a team of naked skiers (socks on cocks) cameras at the ready girls….. Until next time….

Report from Simone Down - Natives Resort Reporter in Courchevel

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