jokes that we liked (and put on the site)

Some of these were orginally run as news items...just for fun.

-- The one with the Scouser keyboard
-- The one with the original computer
-- And the Geordie version of Windows
-- I'll give you Destiny's bladdy Child...
-- The one with the Veterinary Assessment Viva on the cats
-- The one about the speed cam that gave itself a ticket
-- The one with the Magic Fortune Teller
-- The one with the very important BMA press release (it's a Word document)
-- The one about the five stages of drunkenness
-- The one that proves girls are evil
-- The things the Germans said before that match
-- The one about the Charlie mix-up
-- Those painful puns...
-- The one with the bird spotting
-- The rude one about Beaver Creek
-- The one about the Husband Shopping Centre
-- The one about the new 'Women Only' car park
-- The one with instructions on snowmobiling
-- The (Christmas) one about the three wise women
-- The one about the mobile phone
-- The one with the bad translation from French to English
-- The one about the hardy Scots
-- The one with the rude dog food
-- The April Fool
-- The one about the Irish email virus
-- The ones that take the mick out of boarders (and ski instructors)
-- The one with the sneak preview of Windows
-- The one about the Christian Coalition denouncing snowboarding
-- The one about supervision for chalet girls
-- The worst chat up lines heard in the Alps
-- The one about the Man and Woman machines
-- The one about preparing for the ski season
-- The (other) one about preparing for the ski season
-- The one with the snowball email

- Plus 10 Great Quotes

Spare joke to fill in the space...

Two men are walking through a graveyard with their dogs.
One man turns to the other and says: "Morning."
The other man replies: "No, just walking the dog."

...and secondly...

A hungry man goes to the burger van and asks for a Zen burger
The burger man looks at him and asks what the John Thomas a Zen burger is
To which the hungry man replies..."one with everything."

and a token Bill Clinton joke...

Hillary Clinton hadn't  been feeling well so she went to her doctor for a physical, only to find out that she's pregnant.

She is furious. Here she is now the Senator of New York and this has happened to her. She calls Chappaqua, gets Bill on the phone, and immediately starts screaming:

 "How could you have let this happen? With all that's going on right now, you go and get me pregnant!  How could you?!?!  I can't believe this! I just found out that I am five weeks pregnant, and it's all your
fault! YOUR FAULT!!  Well, what do you have to say???"

There is nothing but dead silence on the other end of the phone. She screams again,  "DID YOU HEAR ME?"

 Finally, Bill says, in a very, very low whisper, "Who is this?"